It's been three weeks for me to finally find the energy to recap this semester. What a semester it was. Everything that could have been thrown my way was. Juggling being a full-time student, working 12-30 hours a week, pledging (what an experience), a relationship, a breakup, and thats just the major happenings. Life came and happened.
Throughout the events of the past four months it was so hard to function normally and process everything. It was hard being busy to the point of having every moment of your day planned, not to be overly OCD, but to fit everything in you needed to do. It was hard trying to be the person people around you were expecting you to be. It was hard.
I naturally have mixed emotions and feelings about going back to real life. While I love being home, having nothing to do, nowhere to be, and can catch up on the sleep I didn't get in the fall and won't get in the spring, I know that I need to get back to school. Not for the actual school part because I am dreading that part, but to be with my friends again. It is hard to find the motivation to be excited about going back to school after this past semester. See, every semester has gotten harder. They say it gets easier in time, yet it hasn't and that's scary to think about.
While I find myself apprehensive about the next six months of school, I keep having the though go through my head that it is going to get easier. Life in general will get easier. I cannot imagine what a semester harder than one filled will pledging could look like. Here I find myself in the great unknown and it's not the outside looking in or end of the journey looking back, but the journey. Yes, it is fun and exciting and there is really cool activity happening all around me, at the same time it is scary and large and intimidating.
Making the right choices has become harder on a daily basis. For someone who already had trouble making decisions, this causes me to question my every move. It is hard to keep in perspective that no matter what path I choose it can work for the greater good because God is with me. If God is with me than I cannot fail. So reflecting on this past semester I have hope that while there were positives and negatives and ups and downs and it was an adventure to say the least, I have grown from the struggle and the hard times faces. Donald Miller says in his book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years "There is no conflict man can endure that will not produce a blessings." I love this quote because when struggle is reflected on, the outcome of situation is more impactful than the hardship.
As cliché as it sounds, struggle makes our lives more impactful than they previously were and help us become and discover who we need to be. I lived this the past few months and although this semester left me discouraged and frustrated, I have learned so much valuable knowledge. While I cannot see what is behind recent events someday I will be able to look back and realize the bigger purpose and meaning.
Your Favorite Redhead
